I didn’t hear your voice
When I did have no choice
The tingling feel inside my heart is now the one who roles.
I once was in hollow
With no one to follow
And now my heart without you is a deep lake of sorrow.
And it’s not even shallow…
Once be in my heart,
Stays there forever,
Never leaving.
One leaves me tonight,
Leaves me forever,
Never coming back.
I didn’t see your eyes
Looking up to the skies
With now a deep feeling of lone, they’re never gonna rise.
It’s a cute rhyme. I like it ….. really like it, but I feel a bit disturbed with the sentence ‘And it’s not even shallow’
I would prefer to take that off. it sounds funny cause you already said ‘a deep lake of sorrow’. It gives the affect that you forced that sentence to be there.
But hey, good job .. I envy you for that ….. I wish I could make good English poem like this,….
Hahah makasih, Adeline. Hm, jadi yang ‘and it’s not even shallow’nya nggak usah ada aja ya? Sipsip. Makasih!